I love Thanksgiving! It's a national holiday, so we're all included, and it integrates well with any religion (or lack of one -- you can always thank a person, after all). Plus, it taps into our American desire to eat to excess! Brilliant!*

As an added bonus, Thanksgiving involves catchy national mythology, featuring some touching interplay between Pilgrim and Indian. It tries hard to convince us that we were freely offered maize/this continent in exchange for smallpox/a romanticized portrayal once a year in November. I think at this point, most of us are uncomfortably aware of how shady a deal that was and even more uncomfortably aware of how little we can really do about it. Because of this, we've constructed an almost mystical reverence for the wise, proud people whom we (irreverently) dumped from their homelands and channel it into the arts whenever possible.**

I don't know about you, but I'm pretty damn grateful for the sacrifices they made. I mean, what have I done anyway? I sit around, think thoughts about movies and buy clothes online [this post is my official entry into ModCloth's Thanksgiving Thank-a-thon contest]. It's pathetic.

Unfortunately for my conscience, all that post-colonial romanticizin' has resulted in some Hollywood portrayals that are pretty difficult to resist, especially when you're crammed full of mashed potatoes and unable to get out of your dad's recliner. The following are four movies with which to indulge yourself and one that'll help you reclaim a measure of your self-respect.

Pocahontas

Get this one in before the kids go to bed! It's a surprisingly enjoyable Disney animated feature in the old style that suffered much due to criticism that the history is almost 100% inaccurate (although the animals in this film don't talk, so obviously some attempts were made to keep things realistic). Try to ignore the fact that this pretty musical doesn't quite fit in with Disney's usual line of dry, historical documentaries and instead focus on hearing the wolf cry at the blue corn moon.

Dances with Wolves

If there's one thing the 90s were good for it is sweeping epics. If there are two things...I don't know what the second one is,*** but I know it's not Kevin Costner. Nevertheless, that toneless man really put some excellent movies together, did he not? If you haven't seen this film in awhile, it's time to refresh your memory. Don't pretend it's just your mom who loves that sentimental John Barry score -- you'll have a tear in your eye as the drums play while Lieutenant Dunbar forges a relationship with Stands with a Fist. She's not only sassy, she's white! It's the choice with which everyone can feel comfortable.

The Last of the Mohicans

Rumor has it that the noble Mohicans and the rest of the Native American actors and actresses experienced less-than-favorable conditions on the set of this movie. I try and fail to make my indignation overpower the heart palpitations I experience when Daniel Day-Lewis tells Cora that he will find her. I hate being manipulated! I love this movie!

The New World

I recommend this not because it is any good but because knowing what you know now, you can use your viewing of this movie as a post-turkey game to keep your mind sharp. Give yourself points every time a white man helps a hot indigenous babe learn the ways of civilization. Give yourself extra points every time she teaches him something about the ways of nature in return. Down an entire bottle of wine every time a woman's fate bodily passes from one male to another.

Dead Man

I threw this one in last in case your colonial guilt is starting to flare up beyond all reckoning and you crave some relief. One of my favorite films by one of my favorite directors and starring an actor I think about at least once a day, Dead Man will remind you that a colonist can indeed portray the colonized in a thoughtful and respectful manner. Not only that, it's still a kickass movie that will provoke all sorts of emotions, even if no one jumps into waterfalls.

*This is an argument for another time, but Fourth of July might be better, since it taps into our American desire to drink in someone's backyard. Also, the revolutionary ideals of the founding fathers are a whole lot more fun to celebrate than those of the Puritans. Just saying.

**For real, it's a real thing. To read more about it, check out this article about aboriginal representation in media, and this one about the "noble savage," and this one about Squanto, just for kicks. That guy had a rough life.

***That's a lie. I do know what it is, and it's Pearl Jam.

I was formerly a little bit embarrassed sometimes at how much I mention these guys.  FORMERLY.

In no way does the following statement mean that I am happy that such a cool dude died, but it was very CONVENIENT that a movie-related thing happened on my watch.  You may find it, and you may graciously comment upon it, here.

Seriously, comment on it please. I need some good quotes with which to pepper the site!

No complaints thus far. Of the movies I've seen lately, I've only got nitpicking to do. John Dillinger puts the sexy in sexism in Public Enemies. I was angry at myself for rooting for a chauvenist with a fairly inconsistent regard for human life, but it wasn't my fault. Michael Mann threw Johnny Depp at me, who was able to complete a movie without indulging in any delightfully spooky makeup or characterization. I wouldn't have even recognized him if I hadn't seen his face in my dreams every night. Have I said too much.

He robs banks and orders women to be his life partners! Yet I am smitten!

Last week I finally caught Away We Go, which I'd heard was only meh. Sure, it was typically over the top with tiny emotional climaxes, as Sam Mendes is wont to do, but brush all that painful poignancy aside, and you've got a funny couple with that charming tousled-and-a-little-lost look, who are refreshingly devoid of relationship problems. It's not that they're better than you, it's that they are you. In some ways it's the opposite of his last picture, Revolutionary Road. Solid couple with a really imperfect life that turns out to be perfect anyway. Just reverse all those meanings and you've got ol' Leo and Kate, chasing each other through the woods and having awkward affairs.

I'm not sure I could find much fault with Drag Me to Hell, however. Adorable, deliciously scary (as opposed to the kind of scary that keeps you up at night. Maliciously scary?), and impeccably timed are things I would say. But no matter how much I try, I can't get anyone to believe me. "It's campy and great!" I say. "The trailer is terrifying. I'm not into being scared," they say before not sharing their chips. Bitchez! I'm not into being scared either. What's wrong with my guarantee that you will not wake up in the middle of the night terrified that the corpse of an old woman will spew embalming fluid on you?

On DVD, I've had some good finds lately as well. I don't know why it took me so long to watch Mystery Train, having warmly embraced most of Jim Jarmusch's other films long ago. I think a girl in a class I had once gave a long boring presentation about it, so in my mind the poor movie would be tedious and involve a lot of Xeroxed handouts. It's Jarmusch in Memphis, only more colorful than usual, and a little more precious than most of his older films. Other than that, it's been a lot of True Blood and The Wire lately, as I just moved house, and our energy at night isn't what it used to be. I mean, like, a month ago.

While packing I re-re-rediscovered some brilliant Mr. Show moments. Discover Josh Fenderman, won't you?

With all the right, what the public didn\'t see coming were all the wrongs